***DISCLAIMER: Long post…written during my 3rd trimester.***
My Pregnancy Journey
I can honestly say my thoughts about pregnancy have been changed forever. While I’ve learned a lot about babies/kids from working with infant through 7th grade over the course of 11 years of my life…once I got pregnant I learned there was that much more I didn’t know! I’ve developed an appreciation for those who have been real with me about their own journeys. At some point I kept running into a good number of people who told me their pregnancies were great and even blissful, my story is a little different. I have respect for every women’s journey just so we are clear. I’m in my third trimester now and have not felt that way yet. I found myself talking to those who chose to be honest and tell me the other side which didn’t make them any less of a parent or love their kids less. The more I spoke to women, the more it was like they completely forgot all they went through. Mind you there is a verse in the bible that speaks to this happening to women after they give birth and Praise God for it… (John 16:21). The more I spoke with some of them, the more I got responses like “oh yeah, I do remember having some of those symptoms”. There were a select few who said they didn’t forget anything and never would but everyone processes experiences differently so I learned to just listen and take what I needed from each person.
Most of those who ask how I’m feeling, or if I was enjoying being pregnant only care to hear ” I’m good”, or “I’m enjoying my pregnancy” which I started to say to avoid the interesting looks I got and comments that sometimes followed. No I didn’t go into my whole spill of how I really felt because nobody wants to hear all that, but I was pretty honest with a select few who came to me and said “how are you really feeling?” It’s been comforting talking to my mom, other trusted mom’s, friends, and doctors in which I’ve worked with for the past 12 years when I have questions or concerns as well as my pregnancy book Mama Natural book. I’m not one to surf the web because unless you have a trusted, realistic, honest source, the most extreme and negative information pops up.
How did you feel when you found out you were pregnant? What were some thoughts that went through your mind?
Wow I’m having a baby! These are the last 9 months my husband and I will be spending with just the two of us. Will I be as sick as my poor mother was with me (she was sick several times a day for 9 months, couldn’t even keep water down). What are the best books to get my hands on to inform myself and not scare the crap out of me while maintaining my choice to stay as natural as possible. Gotta make space in our home, decorating the babies room, pictures I wanted to take throughout my pregnancy journey. Who could I trust to speak to for help and what and who to stay away from when I had questions or concerns.
Comments people have made…
I remember asking a women to leave my office if she didn’t have anything positive to say about my journey. What is so interesting to me is that people think because they experienced certain things during their pregnancy, that it’s going to be a part of mine. I mean these people aren’t even related. All pregnancies are different…..PERIOD! I can’t even begin to share the horror stories people shared. Why do we do this to women instead of keeping them uplifted and positive about the new adventure they have ahead of them? I countered all of this with positive thinking and acupuncture in which neither allowed me to stress or take any of what people said to heart. Praise God! Take a look at some of the comments people have made.
- That baby is going to rip you a new one (why thank you for that…just what I wanted to hear)
- Your going to be so evil and moody (all because you were right?)
- First trimester is rough, but the second one should give you some rejuvenation and then the third one gets hard again (I’m now in my third trimester and for me, I find this too be true, second trimester was life)
- Eat lots of fruit and vegetables (baby didn’t want that)
- Women up! It’s only 9 months (lets just say I walked away for her own safety)
- Your probably having the symptoms your having due to your age (36) (I’ve spoken to people of many different ages with my exact same symptoms)
- I never had that symptom…something doesn’t sound right about that, you may want to get that checked out. (so because you didn’t have the symptoms I’m having….I’m an alien?)
- Your going to be an amazing mom!
- Sleep and do everything you want to do now because when baby gets here, life is over (I have too many examples of life just beginning when babies were born. So I believe it’s what you make it)
- Oh calm down, your just pregnant (this was probably at the top of my list! So what your telling me is because I’m pregnant, I can’t have an opinion, get mad, or passionately express myself? My feelings shouldn’t be validated because I’m pregnant?!?!?!!? I think this is one of the most ignorant comments people can make to a women with child. While it may be due to hormones, her feelings should be just as validated as they were when she wasn’t pregnant because guess what…..THOSE ARE HER FEELINGS!!!!
- Enjoy your journey!
How did you feel by the end of the first trimester?
Worn the heck out! I can’t say it was fun or that I even had time to enjoy it or do half the things I thought I would be able to do. I didn’t have time to process being pregnant. My goal every day was to make it out of bed, through my day, and back home again to get back into my bed while trying not to be nauseous. There weren’t many pictures taken this trimester which wasn’t by choice. I took it as God allowing me to see a glimpse into the future of having a kid. It’s unpredictable and things will not always go accordingly so instead of stressing about things my motto was if I can get to it I will and if I can’t it’s ok.
FIRST TRIMESTER SYMPTOMS AND CHANGES
- Certain pictures made me sick just to look at them….God’s sense of humor for the photographer?
- Nausea all day if I don’t eat every 2-3 hours, must be a hardy meal every single time. The baby doesn’t care for snacks….a snack is at least 3 chicken wings!
- Mood swings ( I asked Brandon on scale of 1-10 where he felt I was with these and he said a 3 and that I didn’t really have them, just got quiet and kept to myself at times)
- Headaches off and on throughout the day or that wake me in the middle of the night
- Random shooting nerve pains in my back and thighs
- Ligament pains – Baby is positioned in a way it’s leaning on something which at times made my walking painful and feel restricted
- Baby brain (very real thing…..forget things that literally just came out of my mouth seconds ago)
- Super sore breasts!
- Soreness to the touch on the lower part of my tummy. Seat belts were extremely uncomfortable for me as well clothing being worn on the lower party of my belly. I created a few contraptions to keep the lower half of the seat belt way from my stomach
- Heartburn for the first time ever in my life (one time only….thank God because I thought life was over and God was calling me home!)
- Face breaking out…not super bad
- Sore gums
- Growing fatty tissue under my arm, doctors say it’s due to my crazy hormones and will continue to grow as I grow. Sometimes they go away on their own after delivery and sometimes they have to be surgically removed
- Shortness of breath
- Heightened heart rate due to breathing for two
- I sleep….just not as soundly. Pregnancy pillow helped
- Gas or bloating is not what it use to be….it’s at least 5 times worse!
- Low Energy levels/winded pretty easily
- Motion sickness while riding in the car with others or watching certain things on TV. Driving on my own is fine.
To top everything off, I’m considered a Geriatric pregnancy because I’m 36 years old. You would think I was an 80 year old having a baby! It means your high risk, but doesn’t mean anything is wrong. They use to tell me every time I’m super healthy and should have no problems conceiving. It’s just the age range and how different your body is and processes things from someone in the younger age range that can heighten the chances for certain conditions, diseases, etc. All my genetic testing and other nerve wrecking testing they put me and Brandon through came back perfect….Praise God! They really need to find a new term for this age group. Take a look at my journey below.
I’m just now able to enjoy being pregnant. I’m grateful to be in a place where I can now that I can think clearly….well when I’m not forgetting everything. I now had time to think and process the life ahead of me. This trimester allowed me to envision me myself holding my little one in my arms, and rocking him to sleep, and singing to him, etc. This was the trimester to get things done and make things happen while having beautiful visions of my son God placed in my head along the way.
What are some of the hardest/worst things you have had to deal with throughout your pregnancy journey?
NAUSEA!!!!! Only had this during my first trimester. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone! The first trimester is when your baby is going through it’s most critical development. So they get everything they need from you by sucking you dry of all your vitamins, nutrients, etc. I was nauseous every two to three hours which I learned meant I needed to eat. Unfortunately, it wasn’t something small the baby wanted like crackers, pretzels, chips, which everyone was telling me to keep close. He wanted something more hardy like 3-4 chicken wings…that was a snack! The amount of food I ate during the first trimester really grossed me out. You guys know I’m a foodie!!!!
Getting up and going to work, or just leaving my bed period, cervical pressure/pain, back and hips hurt, one really horrible vertigo spell. Was praying I would never have another one of those ever again!
Talking to older generations! I notice they only care to hear you are doing well. If you say anything beyond that, they pretty much look at you like your an alien or like you aren’t doing it right. I honestly have not enjoyed speaking to most of them. They are amazed by the technology and what you can now find out sooner about the babies development. Some of them have made me feel like I’m doing it all wrong until I spoke to my mom and she helped me realize where they were coming from. I completely understood but sheesh! Let me just say different and new does not equal wrong!!!
SECOND TRIMESTER SYMPTOMS AND CHANGES
- Pelvic pain/pressure
- I can finally eat one of my favorite foods again…..Kale!!!
- Breast are still pretty sore
- Burning breasts (happened for maybe 15 seconds when I would wake up at night). I prefer to call them flaming because it literally felt like someone was holding a blow torch to them. I’ve been told it’s due to all the hormonal changes.
- Not as much of an appetite
- Sleep is pretty uncomfortable….I rotate all night and sometimes I even get up and walk. My hips and back hurt and my limbs often fall asleep. I have three different types of supportive pillows. The one between my legs was probably the most help along with the wedge for my belly.
- Motion sickness when someone else is driving and when watching certain things on TV.
- My belly button looks interesting….LOL!
- I have more energy and am not as tired. I still get winded quickly, but I’m thankful for the energy.
- Random shooting aches and pains in my belly…..no rhyme or reason to these but everyone including the doctors say they are due to me continuing to expand and grow.
- I can feel the baby rolling around. I’ve heard this trimester is where they use you as their personal gymnasium. Oh joy! Lol…umm it feels different and makes things more real I will say. It’s exciting, but it feels strange…never had anyone moving inside my body so it’s alarming at times for me.
- Stretch marks
- Horrible vertigo spell – went to go to bed and the room begin to spin and I literally couldn’t catch it with my eyes. The bigger issue is it happened even when my eyes were closed. It only happened once and hopefully never again.
I really gotta clean that mirror. Forgive me…
This trimester hit me like a sack of bricks!!! I started to feel all my energy, and the will to want to leave the house led alone my bed left around week 27. I knew it was coming as most have shared to enjoy your second trimester because the third one is a tough one.
THIRD TRIMESTER SYMPTOMS AND CHANGES
- Pelvic pain has increased due to the size of the baby now. Unfortunately, I’m told this will only get worse at baby grows. I’m on my third belly band as the other two were uncomfortable or didn’t work.
- Hips hurt
- Sitting or laying to long doesn’t feel good though standing makes my feet and back hurt
- Shooting pains throughout my butt and back…super random, don’t happen often, hopefully they won’t increase
- Middle of the night cravings
- Energy is super low
- Sleeping more
- Ankles swell normally by the end of the day
- Muscles around my spine have tightened and it’s pretty painful at times due to having to hold myself up and baby
- Shortness of breath
- Babies movements have becomes super intense
- Hair growth……ALL OVER! Lol
- Pelvic bone cracked when I would get up to go to the bathroom at night. The an aweful feeling and was actually pretty loud.
- Brandon had to help me get out of bed at times. He use to call me his beetle bug because that’s what I literally looked like trying to get out of bed….like one stuck on their back! Hilarious
- Snoring like a grizzly bear…my poor husband
- Preeclamsia…by week 27 I no longer had ankles led alone calf’s! They all kind of ran together.
- Along with a few other womanly issues I won’t be listing here to spare you!
What have you enjoyed about your journey?
I use the “What to Expect” app which allows me to see the growth of my baby and symptoms that may be to come every week. I didn’t go into the community group forums and any of those types of things in hopes to stay positive. Learning each week what our son is developing and doing in there has been one of the most fun aspects of my pregnancy to keep up with. Then to go to the doctors and see some of it on the sonogram was even better. I’ve enjoyed the talks I’ve had with my mom and how her pregnancies went with us. She has been my most favorite person to talk to…she didn’t judge me, tell me what to do, etc….she was just there when I had questions or for anything I needed.
Well, I think I’ve said enough here…thanks for listening!
2 thoughts on “Pregnancy…my Real Thoughts”
Sorry to read you had so many challenges, Dev. It ain’t easy making a new person!
So does this mean Little B will be an only child? 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Super sorry for the late response. This week has been nuts! Lol….nah I love kids so we would love to have at least one more. It wasnt so bad I cant do it again. I know others who had far more issues than me but I can only speak for me. But every pregnancy is different so wont know whats in store for me until that times comes….God willing 😘
LikeLiked by 1 person